Why isn't there a crowd at a foreign funeral？

Many people probably get their first idea of a western funeral from a movie scene in which the coffin is brought to the church, where a priest delivers a eulogy and a prayer for the dead, and then the coffin is covered by a velvet pall and taken to the cemetery or cremation site. People smile, have tears in their eyes, or cry a little, but there is no wailing, the atmosphere is even relaxed, and then the camera often moves to the cemetery, grass, white tombstones, and then one by one the faces of the people solemnly watching the coffin. Funerals are not simply different cultural customs. In fact, behind all kinds of imagination and viewing of funerals, there are differences between Chinese and Western culture, tradition, religion, interpersonal relationship, emotional expression and many other aspects.

The concept of "transition ceremony" in western funerals was put forward by The German anthropologist Van Gennapp. He believed that human society always exists a transition from one situation to another, and this process is often completed through ceremonies. All kinds of events in one's life, such as birth, marriage and death, are changes of one's own identity and status, and all have corresponding ceremonies. In this sense, a funeral is like a ferryman, allowing the person who has stopped living to complete the transition from life to death. The ferryman of funerals takes on different characteristics in different societies. For example, we have a tradition of weeping and drumming, while western funeral rituals are closely associated with Christianity.

Many parts of China have traditional western funeral rites and customs mainly influenced by Christian culture. Christianity directly relates each person's soul to God, does not allow idol worship, advocates soul sublimation but ignores the body, so the western funeral custom is simple funeral. Christian funerals are more about praying for the dead, wishing their souls an early passage to heaven and relief from the pain of life. Christianity believes that the soul needs peace after death, so funerals are very solemn. Under the influence of Christian culture, the funeral was basically simple for the nobility and the common people, namely the principle of "equality of souls" in front of God. Under the different rituals that have been formed for a long time, death and loss not only trigger people to express sorrow instinctively, but also conform to the ritual rules: in the former, crying is part of the ceremony to express respect for the dead, while in the latter, people need to bring the mood of blessing and prayer. Since modern times, because of advocating scientific spirit, especially the rise of experimental science, westerners can look at death in a scientific perspective, and further weaken the enthusiasm of the society for funeral. The West advocates the individual standard and advocates taking the individual as the center. Therefore, in the funeral, the deceased is the center, focusing on the placement of the soul of the deceased. Instead of focusing on the actions and rituals of the living.

A vision of the afterlife. If in Chinese culture, funeral represents the connection between man and ancestors, heaven and earth, western funeral can be said to be close to God. In his book, "Men Facing Death," the scholar Philip Arias wrote: "People distinguish between the recorded blessed and the ordinary blessed, who live either in heaven or on earth, but who, as virtuous men, are assured of going to heaven. The folk theory of ghosts and gods, as well as the concepts of reincarnation and karma in Buddhism, in China, which emphasizes the value of life in this world, death is taboo. It is not only forbidden to talk about death, but also impossible to imagine or publicize the world after death.This repression culminates in a sort of emotional climax at the funeral, where the final farewell is said -- crying is grief and fear.

The French scholar Michel Verville wrote a book called "The Cultural History of Death," about the western imagination of the afterlife. The early Christian belief in a blissful waiting time before going to heaven on the day of judgment must have contributed to this change: a cool world, peace, and rest in Abraham's arms. They are neither the carefree living, nor the agonized dying, nor the decaying corpse, nor into the light of rebirth, but the voters waiting in peace and quiet for the transformation of the end. The famous line "All men must die" in Game of Thrones shows the Western attitude towards death.

Chinese people tend to be reserved in their emotional expressions, but unfortunately, in our long and repressed tradition, showing emotions is often frowned upon. Crying is often a sign of weakness, and love often takes the form of a stiff upper lips or a reproach for demanding behavior. You may also find that in daily life, a Chinese person is not so good at expressing emotions. He dare not cry when he is sad, and sorrow may be expressed as extreme anger. It is hard to say "I love you" or give a hug to a family member. Depression is an expression, and so is crying. Especially for those who have lost something important, there is a need for expression in their hearts. Rituals emerge. Funeral rituals express our understanding of life, and both death as life and death as existence are our last deep connection with the dead.